his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
