I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
