last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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