question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
