After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
