Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
The adults are the big ones right?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
