the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
