I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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