Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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