I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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