I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
too bad you live with your parents still
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
