Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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