i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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