I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
