No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
