I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize