haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
