I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
