I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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