her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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