sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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