Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
how drunk are you?
Several
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
