Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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