I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
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