We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
you had me at cake vodka
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
