why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
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Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
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Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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