It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
