yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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