It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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