I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
