I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
