why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
