If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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