Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
