I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
