There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
this will be a night to untag.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
