I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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