Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
