I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Someone shit on the floor
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
