I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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