She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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