Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
