problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
