You don't have asthma, your pregnant
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm like, not good at living.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
