It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
