While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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