Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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