She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
