oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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