we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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