I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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