I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
