I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Damn victory sex feels great
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
