woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I've blown a few things in my day
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
