I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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