I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Randomize
