Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
