He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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