No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
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Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
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i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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