I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
