My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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