have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
