i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
