hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
