he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
