Define "chronic" masturbator.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
