I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
lets start a swedish sibling band together
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize